A Fading Rose
by Okay15
Summary: An eternal day is a lot to take in, and Rosalie had a lot to lose. Life is nearly always not how you expected. Sometimes, our flawless plan is not quite so perfect. Rated T beause I am.


_Rosalie_

_Why?_

I sat out on the porch, and watched the sun set for what seemed like the 20th time that day. The never-ending day, the day that I was cursed to spend all eternity in, just sitting by and watching. The porch was damp from a recent spring shower, soaking my dress. One I would have minded, but of course this no longer affected me.

I had been a vampire for a while now, but I still felt no different. Every night was the same cloud, smothering me with a charcoal regret. Feelings that I possessed, would emerge, feelings so deep down, that they no longer affected my features, no longer surfaced at all, just occasionally spiking my thoughts with a bubble of pain, a burst of jealousy. Feelings that Edward had no knowledge of, or if he did, would confuse them with some other pain, or jealousy, a longing for something else, any thing else. How fickle he must have thought me.

Emmett was mine though, and was all that I wanted. He was my other half, the better side of me, my ray of sunshine. My beautiful husband, with his dark hair, his smiling dimples. He gave me all he could. But there was one thing he could not give me. The one thing I needed for life.

I had been raised to expect a family life. At the age of eighteen, I had expected to marry presently, have several children, and to be content to hang on the arm of my man at social occasions, to be nothing more than jut a pretty face, with no opinion other than her husbands. Expectation did not include becoming a vampire. A frozen cold figure, barren, and sour.

So why? I questioned myself. What had I done to deserve this? I had been fickle and selfish, and air head, as I would have been called these days. But I had been raised this way, told to behave this way, and been taught this way. How was it my fault? I was a silly young girl, with a simple dream, undeserving of the torture that awaited me.

But if I could over come my pain, weren't there other options? If this was what I longed for, why didn't I use them?

It would be so simple, to find and orphan child, to raise it. I could feed regularly, and with practise, live with the child. At eighteen, change it. What a simple ide, seemingly with no flaws. I couldn't.

And I knew why. I was too proud, too cold, to absorbed in this fake ice-queen persona, to show such caring, and longing. It would be too humiliating to admit any such dream. Besides, it was not simply a child I longed for; it was one of my own. A baby conceived, carried, born, and raised, by me. One of my very _own._

I longed to be human, and eighteen. Longing seemed to feature a lot in my new life. I longed for my old life, one free of Royce. Why couldn't I have met Emmett, fell in love, and married him. Had my children with him, had my simple, happy life. My simple, perfect life. Not possible.

The sun set, leaving a charcoal smudge, and I forced my feelings aside. In a few hours Emmett would return from his hunting trip, and I would go to meet him.

For now though, I was content to sit, and watch the fading sky, wilting like myself, from the inside out. What else could I do?

_Emmett_

_What I couldn't give her_

What I couldn't give her. Oh, I didn't need to be able to read her mind. I watched from the door, as Rosalie sat on the porch, watching the sun go down, sinking like I knew her silent heart was.

I loved her, a lot. So much, that it hurt me inside. Pain was something I was accustomed to, but this was different. A strange pain that was inside that flared if something upset her. I wanted to protect her, to cherish her. To give her all that the world could offer.

I knew she loved me. But she wanted a child, and so much. Boy, did it hurt her. I watched as she spent effortless hours, playing with Nessie, feeding her, loving her. All for her to fall asleep at the end of the day, in Bella's arms. She watched, from a far, as the girl she looked after, and loved, called another mother. An undeserving other.

I'd considered adoption, as Esme had done- gone to live alone as a couple, in a cottage nearby. Taken an orphan in, fed ourselves regularly, controlled ourselves. Not so hard. Changed our child when he was fully grown.

Rosalie would want a girl. I chuckled bitterly to myself.

But I knew it went deeper than that. It wasn't just the actual child Rose craved; it was to conceive, to carry, and to raise one. To grow old with me, to live her perfect life, was all that she wanted. It was the only thing that she wanted. What she had grown up to expect, and had torn away in a single moment.

Adoption would be too hard for her, bring memories up that she would rather not relive. Humiliating, too.

I gave her everything. My beloved Rose. It seemed pretty ironic; the one thing she wanted was the one thing I could not give her.

I'd done everything. She had changed me, truly. With Rose, I was another person, a gentle, understanding one. I was someone she could be herself with, someone she could confide things in, without having to say the words. I understood her, through and through. I knew her, and I loved her. But that didn't change anything.

I walked out onto the porch, stepping a little heavier, to announce my presence. She knew it was me. Wrapping my arms around her, I pressed my lips to her ear. I couldn't do anything about it, but for her I could hope. Watching the sky fade away there was little I could do, but hope for my fading Rose.


End file.
